discipline

Trent o nin o como quieran, sacó un nuevo single. Discipline. Bajensenssslon. Parece que edita un nuevo self-centered album SOON. :)

Y yo sigo escribiendo en inglés...


There's still a sense of guilt disrupting my state of mind. Perhaps it's just another way my evasive skills tend to display. And then again, everything I've ever done becomes actual as a near-death experience. Am I about to die one of these days? (Perhaps I did, and I did not even realize how deep it was, and is).

Face to face. The trace is being followed, and it's getting hard not ending up with a bunch of pills stucked up right in that defective region of my brain. (It's getting hard but I still can. Perhaps this funny imperative and despotic figure in my mind is useful, in the end.)

And then again. I see myself. Not a look, not a glance, but the greyish ash I wish I could sweep up, when you (finally) look with a magnifier glass.

Can't stop screaming "Sorry"
Can't stop getting scared.
Can't stop even looking
and that's perhaps the best and worst thing
i ever made.

Ok let's face it.
It was time for me to grow up.
Can't be as hard as I feel.
Not even a close up.

But damn, it hurts
and this time I won't hide in a multicolor castle
I don't I don't I don't

Do you all see what I see?
Is my reflection what I used to believe it is?
Have you seen it all the way?
Or this stubborness of screwing everything up is making you wise?

I've been trying to do what I've been told, and I have failed all the way, every single time. Face this, stupid self of mine: It doesn't work. What do YOU fucking want? Oh, you are too scared to look deep inside? Poor thing. Keep on collecting failures all the way. You hopeless waste of intellectual effort! But this time I won't provide you with a comfortable place to hide. And that's the BEST thing I could ever do for you. Crazy FUCK.

Thanks.
Thanks so much.

I hope I'm not stupid enough to screw this up.